Saturday, November 08, 2008

Goodbye Senior



Its been a strange and emotional month. In summary...

Diesel died.

He got so sick and eventually we opted to euthanase him. It was the hardest decision ever, my heart still breaks thinking about not having him here.
The picture above is in the car park at the vet, kind of weird to take a photo, but I'm glad I did now. We both cuddled him in the car, he was so quiet and peaceful - like he knew what was happening, even when he was on the table in the vet, he just lay down and didn't even flinch when the vet inserted the needle. We cuddled him till the end. It was strange, that morning husband woke me up, he was upset and said 'I think it's time to take Diez'. Secretly I had pondered that thought many times in the previous 2 weeks, wondering if we were being selfish keeping him around, wondering how it would end - if he'd improve or get better. In the days after he died I was a complete wreck. I cried solidly for 2 days... I had no idea it would leave such a horrible empty feeling of heart-break. I felt weird too because I've recently had close friends lose their parents for goodness sake, and I was in a mess because of my dog.

It was a ridiculous comparison, and in a way it made me hide my emotions (misery) unless I was around the one other person who truly understood (and would've been feeling worse than me) - and that was Wayne.

Ho Humm...so unfortunately we were a miserable pair for a few weeks, which - mixed with a new town, new jobs and both missing our friends in Leo, made it very difficult to feel settled and happy in our new home. Only now am I starting to feel positive about our move here.

I've wanted to blog for ages - but this attempt to write about Diez has always left me in tears and unable to finish, and I felt I needed to write about him because it had such a big impact on me.

I Love you and miss you Diez.

xx



6 comments:

Clarkie said...

I'm so sorry to hear that Deiz didn't make it. It is really hard to say good bye, we want their love and presence around us always, I still miss my Shelby and Chuck which passed within weeks of each other. Its good to have the photo's though to look back on, I have Shelby and Chuck's 'close up' face pictures in their own picture box frame on the lounge wall in pride of place and still catch myself looking up that their photo's even now after 3 years.

It does start to feel better although I won't say that the pain goes away. xoxoxo

Jo said...

I have tears rolling down my face... we all miss Diez...and Syd.

The 'guilt', (have we done the right thing) the feeling of loss, them just not being there when you you get home...their crazy welcomes of I am so glad to see you! That unconditional love they give...

On bright notes we have Murphy who is just so crazy you can't help but love him and Elton...well the name says it all!

Another bright note...glad to have you back in blog land...look forward to hearing all about the charming life and antics of living in Quairading!

Keep smiling.

Jo xx

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Diesel, and know you must miss him terribly. What a wonderful picture you posted, though - he looks so comfortable in your husband's arms.

You simply can't compare sorrow - whether a person loses a parent or a pet, they're losing a family member. It's evident from that picture and what you've posted in the past that Diesel loved you two as much as you loved him.

xoxox

Drea said...

Sue Jo-Jo & Mel - you guys are awesome... big hugs and thanks.
From me ...and Diez.
:o)

Yogi said...

My Condolences. Poor little buddy!

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