Melt down

Yuk night shift again.

Today I woke up after a fantastic sleep with a whole new attitude. THANK GOD!
I have spent the last 2 weeks in a quandary...questioning a lot of things... my life, my career, my relationship, my family and friendships. You name it, I thought it over and seemed to find some reason to doubt or question it. Heck I even had trouble sleeping... laying awake stewing over the ridiculous. Eventually i had a bit of a spack attack actually and 'lost it' momentarily. Saturday i confided in a close friend and also my brother (strange as i don't usually do that... but he was really helpful) & yesterday i had a long chat to W, and today i woke feeling like that enormous Mack truck that had been sitting on my shoulders had driven off! Thank fuck for that.
Soooo, to cut a long story short I'M BACK!!! Well for today at least.

I slept like a log today, I woke at 4pm when W finished work and asked if i wanted to go to the gym with him. Initially (in a very dozy frame of mind) i said no, but then changed my mind.

I had just done 10 mins warm-up on the bike when Tan walked into the gym and we decided to go for an 'easy' airport jog. Hmmmm. Should've kept my enthusiastic rather-unfit-blubbery-self indoors because it seemed like the longest, hottest, near-bloody-death experience ever. My HR was 180+ the entire time. I'm NOT kidding. I even wanted to walk the last little bit but Tan pushed me to the end. It wasn't fun, not at all, not even a tiny bit.

I've also eaten well today... had an Orange after gym, steak and salad for dinner and i'm going to have my oats here at work in an hour or so. Gawd... my diet has been rather shite lately.

* * * *

I miss my Mum. She left on Saturday to go back home.
She's been in Leo working for 7 weeks, and it was just nice having her around. Maybe that contributed to my meltdown??

* * * *
I'm looking in to organising a Mothers day classic Fun run here in Leo. I've requested some info on organising one off the website so hopefully it'll be feasible. Its perfect timing (May) and will give me an incentive to get running.... although i'm not exactly feeling super inspired after today's effort. There aren't a huge number of runners here, but there is a 4km walking option...plus if we get towns around us to join in we should be able to make it work. its kinda exciting thinking about it.

xx